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  • julianagmorehouse

Why I Need a Man

“You’re a strong, independent woman and you don’t need a man.” If you’re a girl, you may have heard something of this nature before. If you get ghosted by that guy you’ve been pining for, surely the best way to get over him is to adopt the blanketed sentiment that all men are bad. If you go through a tough break-up, what better way to cope with your feelings than to conclude that you don’t need men at all? This seems to be an ever present mantra in the girl world. If your friend is angsty about boy drama, you tell her she doesn’t need men. However, in my experience, I have found the contrary to be true.

In lieu of father’s day this past weekend, I have spent much time thinking about men and their current place in our culture. I have been fortunate to have a present, supportive, loving father in my life. He nurtured me with the attention I needed to grow into a confident young woman. In addition to my father, I have had other impactful, wise male figures in my life. Some of them include: my brother, my ministers, close friends, teachers, and now my fiance. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the influence these men have had on my life. But, does that mean I am weak or inferior to them?

When it comes to romantic relationships, I wholeheartedly agree that we should not seek our fulfillment or worth from a man. No, you shouldn’t look for a man to complete you. And no, I am not telling you to stay in a relationship with your toxic boyfriend. And no, you do not need a boyfriend. And no, I am not saying your friend needed the boyfriend who just broke up with her. And no, you aren’t necessarily damned to a horrible life if you have an absent or poor father figure.

I am saying that as a general rule, having men in our lives is good. Men and women need each other.

I know that when people say, “you don’t need a man,” they are not necessarily saying that all men are bad. But, there is an underlying message that compounds over time. The modern feminist movement has taught us to villanize men. Men certainly fail us and let us down, but so do women. Imperfection is not unique to men; it is part of what it means to be human.

So, if you are a woman reading this: thank the impactful men in your life. Take a moment to appreciate the complementary nature men and women have. And if you are a man reading this, thank you. Thank you for leading our society with your innate, God-Given abilities.

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